When The Good Boy Gets Hammered
by Roxie the Rebel
Summary: This is what happens when Tobi drinks around Christmas time... Note: TobiXOC Edit: Implied PeinXKonan
1. The Leaning Tower of Idiots

I smiled as I directed the leaning tower of idiots. I waved my hand, "A little to the left, un." I bet you're all thinking that it's Deidara directing them, right? Well, no actually. My name is-

"Monica!" I turned and saw Tobi being strangled by my big brother. I heard Deidara yell, "Stay away from my sister, un!" It wasn't an uncommon sight, after Sasori-Danna was killed Deidara was always trying to choke Tobi, but I was still annoyed. "Deidara-Nee-San, stop trying to kill my best friend!" He reluctantly let go of Tobi. Tobi looked back at Deidara, "Tobi only wanted to wish Monica a Happy Christmas Deidara-Sempai." He turned back to me, "Happy Christmas Monica-Chan!" I smiled, "You too Tobi-Kun." At that moment Kisame, Itachi, Kakuzu, and Hidan all fell into a heap tangled in lights and topped with the star. I looked surprised at them, "...What'd you do that for?" Hidan looked up at me, "Well it ain't like we did it on purpose!" Itachi nodded, "He's right, you weren't directing us." I giggled, "Whoops...well we can continue this later. Christmas is still five days away." Kisame got up stretching, and when he heard Itachi's stomach growl he smiled, "I think we all need something to eat, i'll cook." Then he hurried off to the small kitchen.

I sighed as I sat down on my bed. I hadn't seen Tobi in a while, it made me worry. I inhaled as I heard my stereo click on, I was sure I was the only one in my room. Then the song caught my ear, Coin Operated Boy. Then my closet opened and Tobi stepped out. I looked at him curiously, "What are you doing?" I heard the click of my door being locked and he was suddenly behind me. Even through his mask I could feel a slight breath on my neck, "An early Christmas present." His voice had changed from it's normal child like pitch, and had gone south for the winter.


	2. Your Smashed

**Where we last left Monica...**

Even through his mask I could feel a slight breath on my neck, "An early Christmas present." His voice had changed from it's child like pitch and had gone south for the winter.

I felt my breath quicken instinctively. I gasped slightly as I felt his arms weave around my waist. He pulled me onto the bed where he sat, "Do you like me Monica?" I was confused, "Of course Tobi, why would you think otherwise, un?" Tobi snickered, "No I mean do you like _**like**_ me?" I thought for a moment thinking about how I felt, "Hmm...well, un, I'd have to say...yeah." I heard a rustling sound and tried to turn, but before I could I felt Tobi's mouth on my shoulder. I could tell that he had just pushed up his mask far enough to show his mouth. Then he suddenly bit down hard and I yelped, "Ow! What was that, un?" Tobi looked at me, "Sorry, I'm I not doing it right? That's what Zetsu-Sama told me to do..." I laughed, "You have to remember, un, Zetsu-San is a caniball." I smiled and repositioned myself on his lap, "I know what you were trying to do, but that comes naturally...just do what comes to you." Tobi nodded and tried again, this time getting pretty decent results.

Well we're friends and this is the next step up, un, I thought. Geez, even in my mind I speak like my brother. I was soon, well, growing bored of Tobi nipping and sucking at my shoulders. (I get that way when i'm not doing something.) I turned and made sure the mask wasn't in my way before I leaned down to kiss him. He was surprised by my sudden move and his mouth was open, so I let my tongue slip in to explore. Even though Tobi was taller and older than me he didn't put up much of a fight, so I dominated the kiss. That's when I tasted something funny. As I drew back I relized what it was, "You're smashed..." He looked up at me, "No I'm not, Tobi's a good boy." But the taste in his mouth was unmistakingly eggnog, with some kind of alcohol mix in. He smiled from what I could tell, "Hey, we are in your bedroom right?' I nodded, "Yeah...so?" He pulled me down to whisper, "How's about we have some fun?" I sat back up, "No, I can't, un." He looked at me and replaced his mask, "Why not?" I sighed, "Because you're drunk, un, it's not right." He insisted, "No i'm not, Tobi is always a designated driver." He leaned on my shoulder and I sighed.

After a minute or two I heard him softly snoring, so I placed him in my bed, on his side, and went into Deidara's bedroom. He looked up as I came in, "What's up sis?" I yawned, "Somehow Tobi got hammered and he tried to pull a move, but I stopped him and now he's asleep. Can I stay with you, un?" Deidara looked at me confused because I spoke too fast, but he caught my question, "Uh sure...climb aboard, un."


	3. I Luv Power Outages

**Laxun: Several of the reviews I got were to tell me I should continue the story, so I am.**

**Nala: Muahahaha now be all grateful and stuff!**

**Laxun: -.-' Ignore her, it helps.**

**Miranda: Are we gonna start this thing already?**

**Laxun: Yeppers w**

--

I sighed as I returned to my room the following morning. Tobi was still in my bed, thankfully he hadn't trown up yet. I gingerly nudged him awake. He slowly got up then fell back onto the bed with a groan. Suddenly he shot up and dashed off to the bathroom across the hall.

Deidara came out of his room as he heard Tobi retching, "Well, looks like we've got a full blown hangover on our hands..."

I was pretty positive that Tobi was regreting his little drink.

By noon everyone knew about Tobi's hangover. I felt kinda bad for him, a hangover _this_ close to Christmas. What a bummer.

The next day most of the hangover symptoms were gone.

"So, that was your first time drinking?" I asked Tobi as we watched the omenous snow pile up outside.

He nodded and stood over by the fire, "Yep, to be honest I think I only had two glasses..."

I shrugged, "So? Your first time with drinking you do usually end up drunk after only a few drinks."

He looked over at me, "You sure know alot about drinking...are you sure you've never drank?"

I laughed, "Yes, i'm only nineteen. I'm not twenty yet." (The legal drinking age in Naruto, as far as that one episode goes, is actually 20)

The snow storm outside was becoming worse by the second. I stopped for a moment remembering when Tobi had kissed me, what triggered me to remember that? Maybe it was because he was so close. I suppose that thought made me ask, "Hey Tobi..."

He looked up, "Yeah?"

I thought for a moment, "When you kissed me...was it just the alcohol? Or was it you?"

I suddenly found my sight turned towards the ceiling before I realized I was on the couch. Then Tobi was on top of me with his mask once again pushed up just as far as his mouth. Our lips met again and I noticed how he kind of smiled into the kiss. As we broke apart he gasped, "That answer your question?" I nodded before pulling him back down for another kiss.

In the middle of our kiss the power went out as the blizzard raged on. I heard many shouts laced with curses from Hidan and a loud "SHIT!" from Pein, but Tobi and I didn't care. We were near the fire, and plus we were kinda in the middle of something.

As we broke for air the second time my hand reached up and completely slipped off his mask. His left eye was a deep chocolate brown and his right was covered by an eyepatch with a long scar that ran under it. I didn't care though, to me he was just a hott as Itachi or Pein. He smiled sheepishly before I nuzzled his nose and brought him in for another kiss.

Soon I felt something hard against my thigh. "Well Tobi, I guess you're not _always_ a good boy." I said with a smirk. I began to grind our hips together earning a loud moan from Tobi. I moved us so that I was on top. I was amazed that no one had come to investigate us. I glanced towards where our rooms are. I saw a few glows coming from some of the rooms, flashlights. Apparently they had busied themsleves. That's when I heard Konan's groan coming from Pein's room, we wern't the only ones making use of our time.

I returned to the task at hand. Tobi was still a little flushed and panting slightly. I smirked as I undid his pants. I barely grazed my hand over his boxers and his breath hitched. I leaned down to whisper, "Are you virgin?" He slowly nodded and I half closed my eyes as I brought down his boxers. I saw a blush creep across his face before I leaned down and barely licked the tip.

"Tease..." He breathed. I raised an eyebrow and then deep throated him. It wasn't the first blow job I had given, I believe my first was Itachi, and Itachi was a little bigger than Tobi so completely back throating him was no problem.

I could definantly tell he was virgin, I really had to hold his hips down to keep him from choking me, I mean, Tobi wasn't big...but he wasn't small either. With a loud cry he came and a managed to swallow it all. After a few seconds he regained his voice, "Wow..." I smiled, "You were extreamly loud. You don't touch youself?" He shook his head No.

Just then the power came back on.

Once again I heard a loud "SHIT!" from Pein. I laughed remembering Pein's sensitive eyes, he must of been blinded by all the lights coming back on at all at once.

--

**Laxun: Well, because of this chapter I had to change the rating...But it was extreamly fun to write.**

**Nala: (reads it) ...You have a strange mind...**

**Miranda: Ah, who cares? It's her story. (reads too) ...No, you're right...**

**Laxun: ...I know I'm insane, but thanks for reminding me **

**Nala and Miranda: o.O'**


	4. How? :flashback:

**As a request from ****Xyal****, this is a flashback chapter, to explain why Monica's in the Akatsuki. And, yes, I do use japanese phrases...I like it. Sorry if my grammar is off, I'm using internet translators...But I like how it turned out.**

--

_The cold...I never hated it...but now it was overwhelming. My five year old frame shivered as I took in fridged breaths. I could barely lift my head to look at the blanket of snow that was draped over my surroundings. Snowflakes were scattered across my blonde hair as I lay on my side. A bitter wind swept through cutting through the fabric of my jacket. I was on the edge of loosing consiousness when a small part of my brain registered the sound of footsteps crunching through the snow. I opened one eye to see a figure standing over me. It's hair was long and whipping all over the place, a woman? _

_"__Doushite desu temae tsukai auto koko oite za retsu_(What are you doing out here in the cold)_, un?" No it was a man's voice. I felt him pick me up and start toward a small prick of light in the distance. I was out here because I was an orphan that no one could ever want. My eyes slowly opened as I realized he was running and yelling to someone as we neared a small shelter. _

_"Dana! Sasori no Dana!_(Master! Master Sasori!)_"_

_I heard a slightly different voice, "Doushite temae ketsubou gaki?_(What do you want brat?!)_" I looked at the speaker with my eyes half closed, he was shorter with red hair, he looked about fourteen. He gave me a glance, "__Nanjasorya?(What's that?)__"_

_"Fu sono, Dana. Kanojo ka ato otome hon'in __baremasu_ _auto oite za yuki._(Who's that, master. She is a girl I found out in the snow.)_"_

_"Shinai __moraimasu_ _i__nase motte touhou gaki. Doushite __dekita_ _temae__ tsurete kanojo no __koko taishite?_(Don't get smart with me brat. What did you bring her here for?)_"_

_"Kanojo ni-zu fujo. _(She needs help.)_"_

_Sasori gave him a look of annoyance, "Dakara? Kanojo ka iie saiyou dzuki __watashitachi__, hima Kanojo no auto asoko gaki._(So? She is no use to us, leave her out there brat.)_"_

_"__Boku no_ _neemu Deidara, to naze kan temae __kowagaru __dakara reigen, un? Kanojo ka bakari ato youji._(My name is Deidara, and how can you be so heartless? She is only a child.)_" Deidara looked at me and then at Sasori._

_Sasori sighed, "Nannari._(Whatever.)_" With that said he walked over to a large puppet and clambered inside. Deidara smiled and placed me on a bed. _

_"Temae shinai arimasu dzuki __daiji ni shimasu_ _touhou._(You don't have to take care of me.)_" I croaked my voice hoarse from lack of use. Deidara was busy wetting a cloth for me, "__Detarame(Nonsense)__, un." _

_I turned my head to look at him, "Iie ichi yoku touhou..._(No one wants me...)_" _

_He placed the cloth on my head, "Temae arimasu ato neemu?_(You have a name?)_" I shook my head and went into a coughing fit. Suddenly I felt a cup at my lips and one of his hands holding me still. It may of just been hot water but it did the trick. _

_That's when I saw the mouths on his hands, "Doushite?_(What?)_" _

_He looked at me and then at his hands, "Ara, Hon'in arimasu korera dzuki __tsukurimasu_ _nendo keisuu taishite shura._(Oh, I have these to make clay figures for fighting.)_" He smiled, "Ima, dzuki agemasu temae ato neemu._(Now, to give you a name.)_" _

_I heard a groan from the puppet, "Oi, shinai __ninmei shimasu_ _sore gaki, temae ishi koosai __moraimasu__ fuzoku._(Oi, don't name it, you will just get attached.)_" _

_So far Deidara had been very respectful of this person, but it seemed Sasori pushed him too far, "Shatto itto Sasori-San!_(Shut it Sasori-San!)_"_

_Then he turned back to me, "Hon'in __baremasu __ temae auto oite za yuki...tanshin. Sabishii...Monica!_(I found you out in the snow...alone. Solitary...Monica!)_" _

_I tried the name, "Monica..." I addmit reluctantly, I liked it. I couldn't help the small smile that came to my face. _

_Deidara stood up, "Monica sore ka sate._(Monica it is then.)_"_

_Once again Sasori groaned, "__Kyousei, __ima __watashitachi __ishi never __moraimasu __temae dzuki let kakojo ka hima..._(Great, now we will never get you to let her leave...)_"_

_Deidara sighed, "Shinai omoi kare._(Don't mind him.)_" _

_I looked at my savior, he was taller than Sasori, but only by a little. His hair was up in a half pony tail and he had his bangs over one eye. I managed to sit up and Deidara got down on my leavel to make sure I was okay. _

_My green eyes found his blue ones and I pulled him into a hug, "__Aniki..._(elder brother...)_" _

_He seemed surprised at first but then hugged me back, "__Kinshou shisuta-chan..._(little sister...)_" _

_I had already decided that I didn't like Sasori, but I gave him a nickname, "Hakufu Sasori, naze desu temae oite ato hina?_(Uncle Sasori, why are you in a doll?)_"_

_Sasori looked out from the puppet, "Sore ka ato _guujin_ gaki! _(It is a _puppet_ brat!)_"_

--

**That's how she got in. She was adopted by Deidara back when he was new to the Akatsuki. She was raised by Deidara to act like him, she fights like him and adopted his "Un." Also, in secret, Sasori taught her to fight with puppets.**


	5. Secret

**Okay, i'm back and i'm not dead...YAY FOR LIVING :D**

--

I sighed as I watched the snow fall. It was nights like these that made me think of my past, when Deidara-nii-san found me. I looked up at that sky and caught a snowflake on my tongue. I turned around as I realized that I was not alone.

"Hi Monica-chan, whatcha doing?"

I smiled at Tobi, "Catching snowflakes." I flicked a stray strand of blonde hair out of my eyes as Tobi sat down next to me.

"Remember last night? It was snowing too." Tobi looked up at the fluff filled sky.

I did remember. It had been so dark in the room, even with a fire, that I could just make out the blush on Tobi's barely showing cheeks. I remebered the feeling of having Tobi moaning under me, and I wanted it again. I smiled as I remembered the information I had gotten yesterday.

I had been bored so I decided to snoop around Pein's office while he was out. I searched through everyone's records, so Hidan _was_ an albino, and Itachi _was_ going blind. Then I looked trough Tobi's file and I was shocked.

I felt his arms slip around my waist pulling me back to reality. I closed my eyes and relaxed in his embrace. A sound made me open my eyes. Once again I saw the mask go up just so far as he began to nibble at my left shoulder.

I turned to face him and got up, he looked up, "Did Tobi do something wrong?"

I shook my head, "No, I'd just rather be inside."

As we got inside I quickly pushed him onto the same couch. Almost everyone was asleep at 2:30am. He brought his hands to my waist and flipped me over so he was on top. I didn't mind at all.

As his hands roamed shyly I whispered the secret in his ear so only he could hear me, "You don't have to play as an innocent firsty with me...Madara."

Suddenly the mask came off and Madara attacked my neck. He managed to gasp out between his nips and sucks, "You have...no idea how...long it's...been...since I...last heard my...real name."

I smirked as he began to grow impatient with my blouse, undoing the buttons with his tongue and teeth hastily. I heard a few of the buttons snap off, but I didn't care. I got rid of the sweater like shirt after I unraveled his scarf. I leaned up to allow Madara to remove my shirt as I ran my fingers down his taught stomach. Soon we were both free of offending materials.

Madara positioned himself, "Ready?"

I swallowed, "Yes."

--

**Laxun: Muahahaha! Cliffhanger time XD**

**Nala: She's always wanted to have a good one in her stories...**

**Miranda: AHHH! MY POOR VIRGIN MIND!!**

**Laxun: Yeah, I think of things...I think of lots of things . **


	6. Take Me Hard

**Hai ppl!  
Proof that I am not dead to my Naruto fanfics!**

**I am soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo  
sorry that it took me solong to get the final chapter up for you guys!  
(cries) So sorry!**

**And sorry it's so short, but it's just sex...  
although, it's pretty damn descriptive...  
y'know, for a sex scene.**

* * *

Madara thrust into me making me cry out, "M-madara!"

"Should I stop?" He started to get up. My arms wrapped around his neck instinctively, pulling him close.  
"No." I tried to smile, "Take me hard." Marada's eye widened at my lusty request. I spread my legs wider, feeling my ass move on the fabric of the couch, and flipped my blond hair out of my eyes.

Suddenly, the lights flickered and died. It was another power outage. The fire crackled as it cast a faint glow on our scene.  
Madara, still motionless, sighed, "Another one..." I nipped his shoulder impatiently and his gaze snapped back to me.  
"Oh, sorry." He apologized quickly as he started to move quickly. I buried my face in his shoulder to muffle my shameless moans that tore from my throat. Madara's hands moved across my skin like toddlers, stumbling here and there, finding my hot-spots. I felt my body tensing, my breathing becoming quick and uneven, and the warmth building deep inside my body.

"Oh, oh God! Madara, I'm gonna...gonna c-cum!" I warned him. He rode out my orgasm, gasping out in pleasure filled pain as I bit down on his shoulder and raked my nails down his back in ecstasy. I faintly registered a warm burst in my core as Madara released his seed, calling out my name. If my body still responded right, I would have shot up and feverently kissed the mouth that was hanging open for want of air.

"Madara..."

"Was Tobi good?" He asked smiling micheviously.  
I smiled and laid back, letting my tired body rest.

"Yes...Tobi was very good."

**

* * *

**

Yes...  
sadly When The Good Boy Gets Hammered is done...  
I will probably update The Special One next.


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